Emotion Regulation in DBT - A Framework
In this article:
Emotions are neither good or bad, right or wrong. Feelings just ARE. They exist.
You are controlled by your actions and emotional state.
When emotions are very powerful they can feel just like “the truth”
Emotion Regulation
Emotion Regulation teaches how to slow down and observe our emotional experiences so that we can slow down and choose a reaction. Often, we are operating from an emotionally reactive place. This is not always bad or destructive, but if left unattended, continuously acting from an emotion can lead to poor decisions and hurtful behaviors towards ourselves and others.
Below are a few bullet points that are discussed often in an Emotion Regulation DBT skills training group:
Emotions are neither good or bad, right or wrong. Feelings just ARE. They exist. It is not helpful to judge your emotions. Place a value judgement on your emotions such as “bad” or “stupid” can only compound the difficult experience into something unmanageable.
Experiencing an emotion and acting from an emotion are different. The former can be from a place of awareness and control. You can be aware that you are angry and not act out in a hurtful way. Rather, acting from an emotion is behaving in a way that is out of control. You are controlled by your actions and emotional state. This could be a time when you are angry and act in a way that is hurtful to yourself or others. Anger is expressed, but it is done so in a way that is not productive and may have caused more problems than necessary.
Emotions don’t last forever. No matter what you’re feeling, eventually, it will lift and another emotion will take it’s place. You cannot cry all the time and you cannot feel joy forever either. Our emotions do change and shift. This can be supportive when feeling the intensity of more difficult emotions.
When a strong emotion comes, you do not have to act on your feeling. All you need to do is recognize the emotion and feel it. This may sound strange, but you can be anxious and learn to sit with the experience and feel through it. Often our attempts to avoid an emotional experience or our desire to “fix” how we are feeling gets in the way of growth and development.
Emotions are not facts. When emotions are very powerful they can feel just like “the truth”. Stated in more clear terms, the thoughts that running through your mind are not the truth and most likely are influenced by the emotional state you are experiencing. Feeling “stupid” or feeling like “I can’t take it anymore” is not a feeling at all. These are thoughts that are influenced by your emotional state.
You cannot get rid of emotions because they serve important survival functions. Be willing to radically accept your emotions as they arise. Acceptance of your emotions is not a small task. However, a starting place is learning to identify and name your emotions. We have different words to define different emotional experiences. There is a difference between sad and disappointed. Just as there is a difference between enthusiastic and excited. Learning to identify and observe your emotions is one of the first ways to learn how to accept your emotional experiences.
In this interview, triple board-certified neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho and MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson discuss...
What role do emotions biologically play in our behavior and how we respond to conflict?
What comes first, the behavior or the emotion?
How can someone reduce overly emotional responses using mindfulness?
What are the 3 goals of the emotional regulation model of DBT?
What are some examples of how we tend to be vulnerable towards emotions like sadness, denial, anger, fear, and happiness?
What are some ways people may incorrectly express their emotion?
How can someone start utilizing "emotion words"?
DISCLAIMER: All information included is for educational purposes only. It is not meant to be used for self-diagnosis or to instruct anyone on how to proceed with their mental healthcare. A mental health diagnosis can only be identified by a trained professional that facilitates a proper assessment. Please speak to your healthcare professionals prior to making any changes.